Senior Living Specialists have helped thousand of families in the DFW area over the years try to determine if their loved one needs senior care and what type of care it should be. We understand that sibling dynamics can play a big role in how smoothly or roughly an already difficult transition process can be. We wanted to highlight a few of the common sibling disputes we see and offer solutions to help lessen your likelihood of turmoil and disagreement.
Dispute #1: Financial Matters
Everybody desires that they give their aging parent a facility with the highest level of care, amenities, and skilled staff. You will have some siblings demand that this is the case while others are more concerned about the budget being maximized before the financial burden falls to the children. It can be a difficult reality when siblings are in different financial situations or a loved one’s savings severely limit the monthly budget.
Solution: When working with families, we often see many thinking too short-term when trying to budget the care for a loved one. They also can forget that many aging parents will require greater levels of care later in life that will only increase the level of care (and the monthly expenses). We recommend working with an experienced company like Senior Living Specialists that can operate as an independent party to provide these insights to your family. It will limit the probability of a sibling being labeled, “the bad guy” while also insuring that likely future levels of care are budgeted for too.
Dispute #2: Division of Care Responsibilities
One sibling may feel that they are shouldering a disproportionate share of the caregiving responsibilities compared to others, leading to feelings of resentment and frustration. This is an especially common dispute when one or more of the siblings reside out of state.
Solution: Begin by having a discussion with your siblings around the strengths each of you possess. If one of you is particularly good at managing a budget, that sibling could be in charge of monitoring monthly expenses. You should also consider your limitations as a caregiver like not being able to take your aging parent to appointments if they live out of state. If the in-state caregiver plans on handling most of the transportation to those appointments, their other caregiver responsibilities should be lessened.
Dispute #3: Family Dynamics and Level of Care
Long-standing family dynamics and unresolved issues can resurface during caregiving, creating additional tension and complicating decision-making. Siblings may also have varying opinions on the best care approach for the aging parent, ranging from medical treatments to end-of-life decisions.
Solution: We highly recommend involving a third-party into the process when these kinds of disputes arise. Having an independent party operate with the sole focus being on the care of your aging parent will help remove past family dynamics that could be preventing a peaceful solution from being reached. Senior Living Specialists has played this role with many families.
Dispute #4: Communication Breakdown
Lack of open and effective communication among siblings can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Miscommunications may result in different interpretations of the parent’s wishes or needs.
Solution: We highly encourage your aging parent to be involved while dictating their wishes around their care with all family members present. It prevents the possibility of their desires being miscommunicated between siblings and prevents the possibility of one sibling dictating every aspect of care.
To manage these disputes effectively, it’s crucial for siblings to practice open and respectful communication. Regular family meetings to discuss caregiving responsibilities and decisions can be helpful.
Seeking professional mediation from a member of Senior Living Specialists may also be beneficial in resolving conflicts and finding solutions that prioritize the best interests of the aging parent. Ultimately, putting the parent’s well-being and needs at the forefront can help siblings work together to provide the best possible care.
